Minifinity Dictionary


An	(preposition) Prefixes everything. Pronounced with emphasis, AN cigarette, AN Beer, AN Tent, AN car AN Robinson etc etc...
Arse-Dyno	(noun) A device for performance tuning a motor vehicle, primarily using the seat of a pair of trousers. Based around the philosophy of "if it's bumpier and noisier, it MUST be going faster than before"
B'A'ight!!	(assertion) Get out clause, a reason for not using axle stands to supplement a jack, a reason for not bothering to undo that siezed brake bleed nipple, a reason to not bother pre-purchasing tickets, a reason for using a big pole on the end of a ratchet and not a torque wrench, a reason not to waste time doing head bolts up in the right order, a reason not to use reinforced head gasket and pistons when attempting to run your turbo at 45 psi, a reason not to tell anyone you aren't going to be there. Extremely versatile and widely used among Mini owners.
Blinky-Twinkle-Stick	(noun) Any type of roadside marking that flashes; typically a pelican crossing or traffic light. See also Twinkle-Stick
Boop booop	(exclamation) Greeting, like hello but with more enthusiasm for seeing the person than a boring hello
Brrrrrrpppppp	(noun) The noise a spring makes. Tone and pitch depend on the size of the spring and the force with which it is brrrpppped. A large spring (ie coil-over suspension) will emit a lower and longer boorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppppppppppppppp where a small teeny carb spring (those evil little ones in the gearbox) will give a rather cute brrpp.
Bust	(verb) A generic "doing-word" used to describe doing pretty much anything to pretty much any object. Examples:- BUST open a can of beer (pull ring pull) BUST into a place (walk or run) BUST over somewhere (in a car) BUST me that spanner (throw) BUST me a drink (get/buy) BUST around (driving fast in a car) BUST the hub nut off (undo)
Cavey-Plate	1. (noun) A man-hole cover or other slippery-when-wet object that can be used as a means of assistance in catastrophically losing the arse-end of a small car (especially a Mini). 2. (noun) A small metal bracket used to move the front seats of a car rearwards, most commonly used as a means of removing Matts knees from under his chin when driving a Mini.
Donut	1. (noun) Pig food 2. (noun) Lighting up the tyres (RWD cars only, sorry!) and going round and round in a stationary circle around the axis of the non lit-up wheels creating a large rubber donut. See also pirelli painting 3. (noun) An insult for someone stupid based on the fact that donuts are stoopid food, think about it, shepherds pie is comfort food, curry is macho pain food, pizza is munchie food but donuts are stooopid, they are just puffy and big and get your face all sugary (see description 1)
E.M.I.D.	(noun) E-Mail Interrogation Device. Or 'puter to normal people and no-tails.
Effin'	(adjective) Very
Emergency Start	(noun) Like an emergency stop, but the other way round. Typically performed at the start of a Traffic Light Grand Prix.
Eye of the Tiger	(noun) The "come and have a go" expression typically worn by pimply youths in bog-standard Novas, as they pull up alongside you at the traffic lights, revving their 1.0 litre engines in an attempt to intimidate you into "racing" them.
Hammy	(verb) To demonstrate ones mastery of automotive ballet in front of a large crowd, with no warning whatsoever.
Jonny-Strip	(noun) A white-line down the middle of the road that has been painted black by applying a thick layer of cheap rubber, ideally by a blonde midget wearing high-heels and driving a Ford Orion.
Minifinitise	(verb) To modify something in accordance with Minifinity standards. e.g. Adding a Minifinity.com sticker to ones car is to Minifinitise it.
Mottram	1. (noun) A rare and dangerous creature, typically found in the South West of England. Survives on a combination of "jazz cigarettes" and roast dinners. Has a semi-nocturnal sleep-pattern, the attention span of a goldfish, the manners of a hyena, and the sex drive of a rabbit. This creature is extremely dangerous, and you should not attempt to feed or pet it. Attempts to house-train such a creature have also proved unsuccessful. 2. (verb) To modify a motor vehicle by random and misguided application of an array of power tools, with little consideration for the practicalities of things like personal safety or the laws of physics. For examples, see this or this.
Naughty pole	(noun) Cigarette; you know you shouldnt, but you do.....
Nigel	(verb) To perform major structural repairs to a motor vehicle according to the "bodge tape and underseal" school of thought. Classic examples include a rear subframe that had some fist-sized rust holes repaired using bodge tape and underseal, and a front wing that was attached to the rest of the car with bodge tape and underseal. And an engine bay that consisted of 80% engine, and 20% bodge tape and underseal. In fact, when "Nigel"ing a car, the only place you shouldn't put underseal is in the places that should be rust-proofed using underseal. Thank God he wasn't a Doctor. Patient: "Holy crap, I've cut my arm off". Nigel: "Well come here and I'll stick it back on with some bodge tape". Patient: "Don't be ridiculous, I'll bleed to death". Nigel: "No you won't, not if I cover you in enough underseal..."
Pirelli Painting	(verb) To leave your own special signature on the road using rubber-based ink and lots of revs.
Rat	(noun) Common insult for someone not worthy of an insult that requires more thought and/or preparation
Rotary Muffler	(noun) Vaned windmill-like device placed in the exhaust tract to make interesting noises on Novas, R5s etc. Rather like the modern equivalent of sticking a bit of card and a peg on the back wheel of your Raleigh Grifter to make it sound like a motorbike. When linked to the inlet system (as is commonly done) and installed on a PROPER car, has the interesting side-effect of forcing more air into the engine and improving power outputs.
SLJ	(noun) Straight Line Junkie. Car owner whose primary interest is 0-60 times, drag racing and traffic light Grand Prix's.
Smush	(verb) To smash into mush
Stuy	(verb) To convert a vehicle into scrap metal, wire wool and mayonaise, by application of too much right foot and too little basic maintenance / mechanical sympathy.
TADTS	(lame excuse)"They All Do That Sir". Phrase uttered by the chimp on the front desk at a car dealer, as a feable attempt to justify why they've yet AGAIN failed to rectify the ongoing problem with your car. Obviously if it's a design fault that makes it OK?!?!?
Taxi Second	(noun) The shortest measurable unit of time. Defined as the time between a traffic light going green and the taxi-driver behind you honking at you.
Turny-Blob	(noun) A large round blob of paint on the round, usually in the middle of a junction that most people feel compelled to drive around. However, the well-trained Mini pilot will use it as a launch-ramp and / or canvas for some Pirelli Painting.
Twinkle-Stick	(noun) Lamp post. Ideal for leaning on and climbing. Can also be used as an additional brake, or for turning a Clubman Mini back into a roundnose!
Universal Tool Kit	(noun) Mobile phone and AA card.

Minifinity: Classic Mini Club and Forum

Support Minifinity

Minifinity Shop

Popular Downloads

Show Plates

Fun Stuff

Planetfinity

Latest Posts

Users Online

Login Module

Site Menu

List All Products
Show Cart
Your Cart is currently empty.